So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
