just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
