I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
