Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
