That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
