i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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