if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
