first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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