Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
