Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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