Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
