do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
