omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just high enough for therapy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
