if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
