Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
