I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize