two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
