got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
