The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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