Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
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So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
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She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.