Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
