I cockslap morals
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
