y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
