My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
