i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
