Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So apparently I’m into choking now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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