our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
