you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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