Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
