I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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