where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
