He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
