i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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