I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
