i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
