Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
