every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
All the doctor said was why
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
