Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she peed on how many people?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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