Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
