Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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