Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize