That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
