so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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