I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
