I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There are leaves in my underwear?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
