Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
