By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
