shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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