he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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