i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
