Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
