Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize