oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
