he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i believe in u and ur pee
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize