As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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