oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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