Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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