i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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