I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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