It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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